You mad bro??
It is very common for individuals on the spectrum to have issues dealing with anger, stress and anxiety. This is due to many different reasons but the more common ones are not being able to understand something, feeling like he or she is being attacked, and not being able to determine how to analyze a solution to a problem.
Over the past two weeks, Silas has become very angry for what seems like some of the smallest reasons and has begun to yell and hit. This is not like the Silas we know, who is very gentle and soft spoken. As an example, the other night it was time for him to get off his IPad so we could eat dinner. I gave him his few minute transition warning as I always do and made sure he heard me. I went back a few minutes later and again made sure he knew he had a few more moments. When it came time for him to get off of the IPad, he got very mad. He ended up kicking me in the face after I turned it off. He was flopping all over the couch and the ground screaming and continuously trying to kick me. I grabbed his legs and held him down so he couldn’t hit me and he actually tried to bite me.
I brought him to his room and closed his door for him to settle down. I stood in the hallway trying to figure out what exactly had just happened. What demon has possessed my child? I cleared my mind as to try to be as understanding as possible and went in. I sat down with Silas on his bed and he crawled into my lap. His put his arms around my neck and buried his face in my chest. I guess that was his way of apologizing to me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in his room sitting there as I explained to him that behavior is not okay and will not be tolerated. I gave him examples of the proper behavior and I am positive that we will venture into this situation again in the future. I can understand how frustrating it must be for him to not know how to communicate back-and-forth with us. That would throw me into an anger fit for sure. I am also not sure if he quite understands the emotions he is feeing. I always try to make it a point to give how he feels a name so that he may refer to that at some point. For example, when he cries because he is hurt I tell him that. Or when he gets mad I tell him to say, “That makes me mad!” and to stomp his feet.
I have begun to find videos for children that explain feelings with pictures, colors, and such. He loves these videos and hopefully it is going to sink in. I truly believe that he is smarter than we realize because of some of the things he does. It seems like he just doesn’t talk because he feels like he doesn’t need to. I hope with the social situations I have shown him and with constant guidance he will adapt and overcome this anger issue before it becomes a major issue. Only time will tell…