We had a “moment”
For many on the spectrum, displaying and understanding emotion may oftentimes be difficult. As an example, he or she may not pick up on body language but if told of the emotions directly be more empathetic than others. With Silas, it seems more like he does not know how to express his emotions appropriately. He is clearly able to understand them as he knows if I am happy, mad, or upset.
The other night, Silas did something that truly touched my heart and actually made me cry tears of joy. I was laying down with him as I do every night before he goes to sleep. Tonight he did something that he has never done before. Silas laid down and faced me then grabbed my hand and held it tightly. With his other hand he held my face gently. He just laid there and looked deeply into my eyes. We had “a moment” I guess you could say.
To me it seemed like he was really trying to connect with me. He saw me smile and gave me the sweetest half smile in the world. I told him that I loved him and he said me more! It was in that moment that I truly realized how blessed I am to have such an amazing little boy in my life. No matter how much of a pain he can sometimes be, he will always have my heart. I have always known how special he was to me but this moment reaffirmed how great and wonderful he is.
I am not sure exactly why I cried. Perhaps it was because I was so proud of him for making such an emotional connection with me. I have become accustomed to his ways and this was so out-of-the-ordinary that I was not expecting it at all.
Since that night he has held my hand on multiple other occasions and touched my face the way he did that night. I am so overwhelmingly proud of Silas and the advances he has made so far. I cannot wait for what he will do next. He truly is my everything and more.