Help, my mind is lost!

I have had a lot on my mind recently. After Silas’ checkup with his pediatrician her comments really stuck with me. She said that ABA therapy is great but we should get him back into speech and occupational therapy. We had to discontinue those services about 9 months ago when we started ABA due to it being nearly impossible for us to make a schedule that worked.

My mind has been returning to those comments quite often. I do so desperately want to get Silas back into those therapies because I know how much they can help him. Honestly, I just do not see being able to be away from work that much since I already leave two hours early every day so that we can make it home to do his ABA therapy.

I do have another option though. There is a school in our area that offers preschool services for children with developmental delays. They provide speech, occupational therapy, hearing, vision, and so much more. I went through the whole evaluation process with Silas and have a 17 page in-depth report. They already offered services to Silas. There is a problem with this too though. He would go to school from 9:00-12:00 or 1:00-4:00. The school district could provide busing for him but someone would have to be home when he left and returned, obviously. This comes with another problem. Daddy goes to college classes, I work 15 minutes away, and Silas goes to daycare 15 minutes away.

I got the bright idea, why don’t they just bus Silas from daycare! Nope, that’s out of the school district. There is another school in the district where he goes to daycare which provides the same services. Guess what…can’t go there because we don’t live in that school district. Can’t move into that district because the housing costs too much. We just can’t seem to win.

I would be willing to work nights and not sleep so that Silas could get the services he needs. Whatever sacrifices I had to make I would. All of this is stuff I think about all the damn time. Once this starts going across my mind I start thinking about how if we had close friends they could help. Then I remember that we do not have any close friends. Our life pretty much only revolves around Silas. Not that that is a bad thing, just kind of depressing.

Living in a spectrum world has many ups but it’s the downs that are hardest. It is so hard to talk to people who are not in our situation about our situation because it seems like whining. I do not want anyone to give me “I’m sorry” or “I wish I could help” because that is not what I’m looking for; which will be how it seems. Pity will not help us. So what would help us? No clue.




About Tomonica

Hi, I'm Silas' mom and this blog is simply to document our journey with autism. There will be topics such as how our journey began, what certain aspects of autism are, therapies, successes and failures, as well as sometimes just my craziness. I hope you enjoy reading this and perhaps learn something useful.

Posted on April 25, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Dear One, do not assume that someone you would be comfortable with in sharing your concerns will think you are whining. If they are a good friend, friendships need to be nurtured, then they will listen and not judge. Or just ask them to be your sounding board. If you don’t reach out you won’t find out… leaning to trust can be hard but you have good judgement and God’s guidance. I’ll be praying God’s wisdom and discernment on the therapy issues as well as a friend for you that can come along side and BE the friend and helper you need. Love you Girl!

  2. Christopher Miley

    I read these every week when you post them. It takes an incredibly strong woman to handle a blessing of this magnitude. I am so happy for you. You all are always in my prayers. From a one Airman to another. — Chris

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